For Sale: 40 reasons why you should/shouldn’t buy our family home.

FOR SALE: Family home with memories to last a lifetime, ready to be sold to a; loving, loud, outdoorsy, fun family.

PRICE: Priceless



After 31 years, Duncan and Donise have decided to sell their home on The Lees, Cliviger where they brought up their 3 children now aged 23, 28, and 32.  They have housed a number of animals, welcomed in the new millennium with half of the village and were kept up for many nights with giggling teenagers at my sleepovers.


They have asked if I will help them sell the house in order for them to down size and spend their well earned money throughout their retirement on living life to the full. And who can blame them!


You can find the house here: http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-28692255.html


Here are 40 reasons why you should not buy the house, in my selfish opinion (plus the fact that the house is listed for £30,000 less than what it is worth!).

 Untitled copy*(Here is the part where you see through the eyes of child/teenager and adult who has had the most excellent experience at this house (and genuinely doesn’t want to move) BUT…. with the imposition of reverse psychology you then proceed to book a viewing and buy the house to allow my parents to splash out on cruises, motorised scooters and bingo!!)*

1. No longer will the first thing I open my eyes to in the morning is the rolling green hills of Cliviger gorge.

2. No longer will we be able to point out of the window and ask Erin to name the animals in the field (cows, sheep, horsey, bird and the odd chicken) while she follows the answers with the respective oink, moo and neigh.


Untitled 3

3. No longer will we be able to host BBQs for half of the village: the men gathered around the BBQ, the women sat on the patio while the children play football until darkness falls.


4. No longer will I be able to dribble the football through the house, around the patterns of the carpet to improve dribbling then drive the sponge ball into the risen step in the lounge. Finished off with a klinsman style celebration.


5. No longer will me, Matt and Dee have carpet burnt knees as we competitively fight it out to score the winning goal in the dining room before Dad gets home from work, at which point, we run and jump on the settee, sit quietly pretending to do homework whilst sweat drips down our faces and steam is trickling down the windows. Football, what football?


6. No longer will I be able to ride my scooter down the street feeling every hump and bump while perfecting the bunny hop for the fourth time in a week.

7. No longer we will create a make shift bar in the sun lounge ready for another New years Eve party

8. No longer will we see the seasons change through the countryside nature:- as the trees turn from green, to gold, to the bare branches cutting the crisp cold sky as the tops of the hills become dusted with delicate layers of snow – the summers sunset flickering through the blinds – and those miserable nights when you can see the driving rain through the window yet your toes are dancing with excitement as the fire tickles them through your thick totes.

9. No longer will I be able to help mum peg the washing out making sure pegs are on every corner of linen to stop Dads pants from blowing down the road.

10. No longer will I be able to help my dad wash the cars which usually ended up with me using the wrong sponge, spilling water all over the house and soaked from head to toe.

11. No longer will I be able to kiss my doggies and rabbit goodnight as I put them to bed in their kennel.

12. No longer will I be able to practice my long passing from one end of the garden to the otherUntitled 5

13. No longer will I be allowed to use the loft as my sanctuary to paint, write, draw, play instruments and sing without anybody being able to hear.

14. No longer can I show off that I have a bathroom through my wardrobe and hear everybody say “woah, that’s like Narnia”.

15. No longer will we be able to walk to the Ram, the Queens, Nino’s or Kettledrum whilst watching the sun set over Pendle hill, or walk home at 4am to see the sun rise.

16. No longer will we be able to take the dogs for a walk and see deer eating their breakfast.

17. No longer will I be banished to the lounge as my Mum teaches in the dining room.

18. No longer will I have the pleasure of not having to compromise stairs when rolling in at 5am.

19. No longer will “teas ready” be able to be heard from every part of the house.

20. No longer will the military operation take place to push the caravan out of the drive.

21. No longer will Friday nights be spent with laughter bouncing off every wall and window as the whole family, spouses, girlfriends and most of my school class spend the night around the kitchen table for one of Mum’s legendary chillis, or spag bol followed by an evening of films, knee slides in the garden and chocolate.Untitled 2


22. No longer will I hear “bloody hell” from my room as my dad crashes his head on the beams under the house when getting his lawnmower out.


23. No longer will we be able to pick apples of our apple tree ready for the Sunday apple crumble special.


24. No longer will I be dodging sheep poo to get the ball back from the field that the boys kicked over.

25. No longer will we be able to tell Erin that Santa’s scouts are out as the gritting lorries’ amber lights reflect off every window in the house.

26. No longer will my dad almost freeze to death every year putting together Santa’s Grotto on the kennel.

27.No longer will we be able to watch the fancy gypsies on their way to Bolton Abbey.

28. No longer will summer nights be determined by grass stained jeans, matted hair and the amount of goals scored.

29. No longer will I be able to knock on my bedroom wall as a goodnight to Dee.

30. No longer will I be shouted at for leaving fake tan marks on the “new white bath” or on the “best carpet”.

31. No longer will we be able to wonder what the secret safe was ever used for.

32. No longer will I be greeted by 4 large paws and 2 wet noses on top of the gate on my return home from school.Untitled 4


33. No longer will we be able to watch the leaves fall of ‘David’s tree’ just in time for his birthday.


34. No longer will I have a house of peace and tranquility to return home to after a long busy week in the city.


35. No Longer will my Mum spend 32975 hours a week trying to get Erin’s handprints and Meg’s nose prints off the windows.


36. No longer will people be amused that we live on the same street as our name.

37. No longer will hot chocolate infuse us with well-needed warmth as we hop back over the fence from a morning session of sledging.

38. No longer will there be 3 pairs of football boots lined up ready for Dad to clean, polish and dubbin after every weekend of matches.

39. No longer will there be continual arguments over us being on the internet and Mum and Dad wanting to use the phone.

40. No longer will we have the argument of what colour rose to have in the stained glass front door. As we already live in the red rose county, Mum managed to win her white rose, continually arguing that our household is Yorkshire, not Lancashire.


The once garage which has now been turned into a sun lounge.


1 The Lees, Cliviger is a house that was resurrected from the ashes of owners that did not nurture it the way in which we do. The house has been extended multiple times to match the needs of our growing family (and because the dog ate through the garage), and because we wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

The house allows for family time round the kitchen table, large Christmas dinners in the dining room, and exploration of musical talents in the music room/study, privacy in 4 bedrooms and an untidy playroom unknown to visitors in the loft. Growing up, we would be very rarely stuck inside on computer games, on the internet (largely because good signal has just been installed into the area!) but more often than not, because we would be outside playing sports, playing with neighbors or on the park.


In a selfish way I wish we were not selling the house but we all feel that the time is right now to give the great memories we have had to another family, a young family with loud, expressive children ready to hear their screams echo off the hills and around the valley, ready to climb Thievely, Causeway, Deerplay or Dyenely on a weekend, feeling on top of the world as you stand with the sun beaming of your back gazing across the whole of Lancashire and Yorkshire.



These are just some of the memories we will cherish forever. It is time for a new beginning.




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