Have you ever had that moment when your life flashes before your eyes?
You are trying to stop it from happening but it won’t stop.
You keep on spinning.
You can hear and feel the rubber of the tyres burning as you try to get it to stop.
The belt is pulling so tight you can feel it ripping into your skin.
It feels like it is never going to end. In your head you are thinking ‘i don’t want to die’ and suddenly you feel a bang.
And it stops.
On a bright Monday morning back in September, I was making the 80 mile journey from Burnley to Chester after a lovely weekend at home when it happened. I remember it like yesterday, I was tootling down the M6, The Script was on the radio and I was speaking out loud practicing my speech for the annual staff conference when I passed somebody on the outside lane. All of a sudden without any notice Rolo (my little corsa) started to veer to the right heading straight for the central reservation, as much as I tried to turn the wheel he wouldn’t move until all of a sudden it did which sent me spinning round, and round and round across three lanes and back, until eventually the back of the car hit the barrier. I managed to get to the other side and on to the hard shoulder without being hit by any other vehicle. As always I was running late so the time was 8.30am as opposed to 8am. My terrible time management probably saved my life.
As I got out and composed myself an AA van pulled up and a young gentleman got out and gave me his jacket and a big hug. The first call I made was to my Dad, the second to work and third to the insurance company.
My Mum and Dad came and found me, my dad sorted Rolo whilst my mum fixed me up with sugary tea and continual ‘Don’t worry Bex, it will be fine’. The first things I can remember running through my mind was a) I should not have walked away from that with nothing but a couple of seat belt scratches and a hefty insurance bill and b) I could have quite easily killed somebody. The latter was the hardest part to deal with. There was no real explanation for what happened apart from it may have been the alternator which stopped sending signals to the steering causing the wheel not to work. But I guess we will never really know.
It has taken quite a few months to feel generally comfortable again behind the wheel. Its difficult being in the car with other people and it is very rare I use the right hand lane. I often dream about crashing again but each day I feel fortunate to still be here. The day the crash happened I was back in work by lunch time, in terrible pain and shaken up but I managed to get out of stuffing 3000 envelopes ready for Fresher’s week! (I would have preferred to stuff 10,000 than go through that again)! 4 days later I delivered my conference speech which I completely changed after the accident – instead of it being cautious and predictable it was honest, rather blunt in places and straight to the point because it sounds cliche but you never know what may happen from one day to the next and I felt so fortunate to be there I just went for it. YOLO.
That day for me, (was not only infuriating as I was about to renew my insurance and now its gone up by £800), but it was a day which made me think about how lucky I am not only to have people around me here but I guess somebody up there was looking out for me that day too.
Saved my bacon.
And if you were wondering, I managed to crash in such spectacular fashion that Rolo only needed a new bumper and a new alternator, which is pretty annoying, I could have done with bashing the side where somebody had previously scratched it!! Joke!